Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
