never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
