I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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