she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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