I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
