Sry I called you an 8
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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