at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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