God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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