do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
