i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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