My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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