I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
