How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
