Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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