God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize