i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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