dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
