Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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