we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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