If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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