i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
