I feel like I'm in dance class right now
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
whose parrot is this?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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