For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
