If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
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i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
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I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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