imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
