I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I won't apologize to a one balled man
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
