We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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