i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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