doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
