make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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