I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
