we have pet lesbian snakes
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
