omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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