You smell like stripper and shame
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
