Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I want to have your abortion
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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