discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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