he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
