If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize