Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
