ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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