I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he shaved USA in his pubs
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
