I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
