Pants 0. Shit 1.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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