Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
