A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
