also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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