i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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