is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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