I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
