worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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