i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
