We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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