There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
