tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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