What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
