I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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