You're completely useless in the revolution.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
