i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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