Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
