Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
