yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
