I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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