Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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